Consider Your Values When Choosing Your People

an amygdala
3 min readMay 13, 2023
Photo courtesy of Stylist

This may be controversial because we often hear that good friendships can withstand political differences and ideological divergence. However, people want to be around those they can trust.

Part of trusting someone is knowing where they stand on important issues and understanding those stances.

If two people have significantly different values, their relationship may not be on solid ground. We don’t necessarily need people in our lives who are exactly like us, but we need people who co-create a space of understanding with us.

We need the people in our lives to understand where we’re coming from. We need them to know why we think the way we do.

This is why it’s important to keep our value systems at the forefront when we venture into the world to choose our people. Especially romantically.

My last serious boyfriend surprised me when we were about six months into our relationship by vehemently disagreeing with my wish to tip our taxi driver after he’d driven us to multiple stops and waited patiently in between. His complaint devolved into declaring that I let people take advantage of me and would allow my future children to suffer as I fritter away my money on people who don’t deserve it. This was over about $1-$2. That confirmed for me that he wasn’t someone I…

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an amygdala

You Are Your Own, a curated collection of my feminist poems is available on Amazon & Free via Kindle Select: https://rb.gy/ncz77r