life in my thirties

In the span of one day, I feel too many things. Sometimes I’m completely lost, and then for a moment I find my a way forward.

I think that maybe I can figure it all out.

Every time I reach the next step on my path, I don’t feel less shaky or nervous. Each step after the one I’m currently on feels really big and difficult to get to.

I know I wanted a life that challenges me. I know that the alternative, a placated life, could not bring me a sense of fulfillment. I know because I tried it, and the experiment was a colossal failure.