On Choosing to Move Forward Despite My Fears
It’s a Sunday evening.
I pause at the staircase, watching our two cats as they lounge in the upstairs living room, bathing in the glow of the sunset.
Carrying a fresh feeling of jealousy at their free time, I walk to my desk.
I’m somewhere else. Half of me is still awash with a desire to go lie down next to the cats upstairs and sunbathe alongside them. The other half is fixated on completing the remaining technically challenging work that I should really get through before my head hits the pillow tonight.
It has been a long time since I’ve been a student.
The last time I did this post-college, I took a full course load each semester while working full-time. Needless to say, the schedule didn’t lend itself to a healthy lifestyle.
This time around, the workload is intense, yet again, but I’m a little older and a little wiser. I know the importance of managing my time and planning ahead.
Still, I don’t think it’s broadcasted enough that pursuing your dreams takes a lot of determination and courage. Especially as an adult. Changing life paths is fraught with the risk of losing the things you have already built.
There’s so much discipline needed. So much endurance.
And then there’s the fear, the pin-prick smack-dab in the middle of my chest. The voice whispering that all of this investment of time and energy and money will go to waste. That the result will be dismal- I won’t be able to accomplish this enormous pursuit.
But, I believe this: You can either give your time to the fear, or you can accept its existence and get to work on improving your life.
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