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The Dangers of an Asymmetrical Relationship
The start of a relationship is a telling predictor of how the rest of the relationship will go. A lot of behavior patterns tend to get cemented early on.
If you allow a person to get more out of you than you get out of them, this will likely continue happening. If you enter a romantic connection with weak boundaries, there’s a strong chance that you won’t be able to establish firmer parameters later on without breaking the relationship.
I was in a lopsided relationship for a long time, where he had a breadwinner income, and I did not. We figured that I contributed in other ways, by doing things that he didn’t have to do, by sacrificing my career, etc. It worked pretty well for more than a decade. However, that relationship eventually fell apart, and when it did, the unequal financial contribution became a big point of contention. That was hard.
-Anonymous on Reddit
Asymmetrical relationships can be when one partner has a higher income or is more emotionally committed. A 2016 study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships reported that couples in these dynamics have lower relationship adjustment and increased conflict and aggression. When this happens, an unhealthy power dynamic is created. Partners are meant to be equal (or as equal as possible). When one holds all the cards, it may…